Dear Dad,
This sucks so bad.
Sometimes I want to just come home and see you in your chair. I want to sit down and have you drill me about my day and I want to tell you all the smart ass things I said and make you smile. It's like you're still here and I'll just walk through the door and there you'll be and there I'll be and everything will be normal. And it sets in a little bit more everyday that you're gone.
I wish I could ask you things and hear what sarcastic comment you have to say. That's been the worst. Not getting to talk to you or be around you and just have the advantage of being in your presence. I told my counselor that I couldn't remember your presence. I could remember your voice, your face, your laugh but not you actual being. It's hard to explain. And she just looked at me. A single tear slid down her face, the first one I had seen from her and she said,
"You won't remember it, honey. You'll have pictures and videos but you'll never have his aura or presence or spirit ever again because it's gone. It's gone from this world forever."
God, that's so horrible.
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